


Be My Eyes and Ears

by stupiddragon



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Blind Character, Connor & Upgraded Connor | RK900 are Siblings, Deaf Character, Deviant Upgraded Connor | RK900, Elijah Kamski & Gavin Reed are Cousins, Established Relationship, Gavin and Nines are Soft Bois, Gavin is a good boyfriend, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nines is a Mess, Out of Body Experiences, POV Alternating, Panic Attacks, Post-Pacifist Best Ending (Detroit: Become Human), RK900/Nines Whump, The tags look scary but it's mostly soft bois, Whump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-08 02:42:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17378069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stupiddragon/pseuds/stupiddragon
Summary: The prompts came through, diagnostics ran, no errors except for non-vital components offline. Non-vital as in not the things keeping him alive. The world was nothingness, no visual signal at all, and just as silent.Nines realized with a sharp, sickening, sinking feeling that he was helpless.Fuck.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Finish a fic I was already working on? Ha! Who do you take me for, a fully functioning adult? Nah, have a Reed900 whump fic that I've been thinking about for a while. This first bit contains the only violence in the fic. 
> 
> I hope you like it!

A metal cylinder flew across the distance between them, rolling to a stop at Nines’ feet. He didn't have time to return it, didn't have time to jump back and run, didn't even have time to feel the rush of faux-adrenaline through his wires.

The indicator on its side lit up blue, and the world went dark.

 

**[2039-7-26 16:58:35.9364937**

**SYSTEM RESTORE**

**MODEL: RK900**  
**SERIAL#: 313 248 317 - 87**  
**BIOS 10.2 REVISION 0642**  
**REBOOTING...**

 **LOADING OS...**  
**SYSTEM INITIALIZATION...**  
**CHECKING BIOCOMPONENTS… 10 ERRORS**  
**RESUMING BIOSENSORS...          6 ERRORS**  
**RESUMING AI ENGINE...               OK**

 **MEMORY STATUS...**  
**ALL SYSTEMS                               16 ERRORS**

**WARNING: OPTICAL UNITS DISABLED OR DISCONNECTED**

**WARNING: AURAL UNITS DISABLED OR DISCONNECTED**

**READY]**

The prompts came through, diagnostics ran, no errors except for non-vital components offline. Non-vital as in not the things keeping him alive—his processor and pump and regulator. But when he opened his eyes, the world was nothingness, no visual signal at all, and when he listened it was just as silent.

The RK900 filtered through his most recent memory files to identify the source of the problem.

An EMP grenade. One specialized in taking androids out. Fortunately for an RK900, the model's brain case was reinforced to block the electromagnetic pulses from damaging anything vital. Anything on the surface, however, wasn't safe.

His audio and video feeds were gone. His open eyes did not see, he strained to find the faintest sound, and he was only vaguely aware that he was on the ground. Only errors came back to him when he attempted to initialize an auto-repair; the components were utterly ruined.

And Nines was left here, in the dark and silence, oblivious to whatever might be going on around him. This was… an inconvenience, nothing more, the RK900 tried to tell himself.

He'd contact someone wirelessly, of course, and let them know what had happened. Back up had already been on the way; some uniforms, along with Connor and Hank, should be there shortly.

The android pushed himself up on his arms, lifting to kneel on one knee. He'd just call Connor and let him know what had happened.

He brought up Connor's contact information and sent a command to connect to him remotely.

**[ERROR: Unable to establish a connection.]**

...Okay, perhaps cellular capabilities would work better. This time he tried to call Gavin.

**[ERROR: No signal.]**

No WiFi, no Bluetooth, no NFC, or satellite or infrared or radio.

Shit… the EMP must have jammed any kind of wireless signal in the area, maybe even wired devices. No one would know what was happening to him— and he wouldn't know what was happening to _them_.

Wait... Gavin. What if he'd been hurt without Nines’ help? What if he was calling out, thinking he'd been abandoned, but Nines couldn't hear him? He could be dying, even; those criminals had known who they were dealing with, judging by how quick they were to disable the RK900.

Shit. _Shit_. He had to get up, had to find Gavin or someone who could.

But when he stood up, he felt himself stumble. He had no idea which way he was facing, the directions all scrambled.

Something pierced his left leg and he fell forward. Warnings lit up the darkness in his vision, the only thing telling him that he'd been shot.

His culprits were clearly still in the room. He couldn't fight back. Nines realized with a sharp, sickening, sinking feeling that he was _helpless_.

_Fuck._

——

The ringing in Gavin's ears died out as quickly as it had come. Something had blown upstairs. Not a gun or a bomb something. An electrical whining something. Raising his gun, he stalked back up to the ground floor and heard the whirring of sirens parking themselves outside. Fucking finally.

Gavin backed out of the building to greet— rather, _deride—_ his backup.

“Took you fucking long enough,” he sneered when Anderson and Connor slammed their car doors closed. Chris Miller and Tina Chen were right behind them in their own squad car, with possibilities of more to follow.

“Oh, shut up,” Hank spat right back. “If it were up to me, I wouldn't even be here.”

Gavin rolled his eyes, then let them flick over to the way Connor was twitching and blinking rapidly, periodically shaking his head to throw off the jitters. It didn't seem to be helping. Huh. The fuck was with that? He'd ask later; he had more important shit to do.

“Two perps, unarmed as far as we could tell. They holed themselves up inside here,” he said, moving on and gesturing towards the brick building with a flick of his head. He was still holding his pistol steady in both hands. “Tech thieves. Involved in the taxi hacking last month.”

“The one that caused that crash?” Miller asked. He was already pulling his gun; he'd been on the scene for that, seen the mangled corpse that had been pulled out from under the carriage.

“Yep.”

“Where's Nines?” Connor asked, still blinking erratically.

“We were doing a sweep of the place. He took the upstairs.”

Nodding, Connor again shook his head, more forcefully this time, and held his head in one hand.

“I-I don't mean to alarm you, but you should probably find him right away,” the android stammered. “There's some kind of signal here trying to jam my functions. I suspect that's our hackers.”

“Wait, you okay kid?” Anderson was quick to turn Connor around to face him.

“I'll stay out here by the car. I should be fine if I don't get too close to the source. You all go ahead.”

And that's the plan they went with. Gavin found himself dashing up the stairs two at a time, even though his training screamed at the back of his head telling him to go slow, use caution, _caution!_

When he heard the gunshot he cursed, Hank shouting that he thought Reed had said the perps were unarmed— yeah, that's what they'd _thought_ — and Gavin sped up the stairs and down the hall, shouting.

“DETROIT POLICE! _DROP THE WEAPON!”_

Their two suspects, both skinny twenty-odds clad all in black, froze as four armed police officers filed in, each pointing a barrel in their faces.

“Don't make this difficult, kids,” Hank ordered. “You, drop the weapon. Both of you put your hands on your heads, and get down on the ground.”

The pair were stupid for remotely hacking a taxi cab and driving it out of control, but apparently they weren't stupid enough to gamble away their lives. The one on the left, holding the handgun, dropped his weapon, and both sank to their knees in surrender.

Chen and Miller were quick to rush in and lock them up. Good, because Gavin couldn't focus on reciting their Miranda rights if he fucking wanted to.

In the corner, on the floor, was Nines, bleeding from his leg and not so much as fucking moving. His eyes were glazed and directionless, and he hadn't reacted to anything in the room. He looked _lost._ Fucking _terrified_. And that scared Gavin more than the bullet wound did.

“Nines! _Nines_ , fuck, are you alright?!”

Gavin found himself rushing to the android, skidding onto his knees next to him and grabbing him by the shoulders. Nines flinched and snatched Gavin's wrists, sending a kick into the man's stomach that forced him back into the opposite wall.

 _Fuck_ that hurt. Fuck, shit, Gavin felt like he was gonna puke, and the taste of acid reflux that jumped up into his mouth wasn't helping.

“Nines, what the fuck—"

“Your bot's broken, dumbass,” one of the hackers proudly grinned. Tina promptly shoved him out the door, just a little harder than she needed to, and maybe not so accidentally catching his shoulder on the door frame. She and Chris both lead their catches to the cars.

Nines was broken? Like, broken _how?_ Connor had said something was jamming his system. It had to be the same thing, so if they just moved Nines out of here...

“Shit, I think we’ve got an explosive!” Gavin looked over with a panicked jolt; Hank was staring at a metallic cylinder on the ground, a little blue light blinking on it's side.

He'd never seen an explosive like that, though homemades came in all shapes and sizes. But a hunch told him that wasn't an explosive— that was the jammer.

“Destroy it.”

“Fucking _what?”_ Hank was already moving towards Nines to pick him up and drag him away. Bad move; Gavin already had a kick in the gut from trying to touch him. “We need to get outta here right the fuck now, not fucking blow ourselves up!”

“Dumbass, that's the fucking jammer Connor was talking about.” By now Gavin had his breath back and stood himself back up, though the pain in his stomach was fucking excruciating. He was gonna have a boot print on him for a goddamn month.

“How are you so su— whoa HEY HEY HEY—”

Gavin ignored the Lieutenant's bitching and promptly pulled out his gun, pulled the trigger, and shot the thing to little shards. Nothing happened but a few sharp pieces of shrapnel flying into his face, giving him tiny, skin-deep cuts.

“ _DAMMIT_ , you're gonna get us all fuckin’ killed, Reed!” Anderson was pissed, not that Gavin could care. He went back over to his partner, who'd been quietly bracing himself in the corner and looked about ready to kill anything that touched him.

 _He thinks we're the perps_ , Gavin realized to himself. He'd hoped that distant, wild look in the android's eyes would disappear once the signal was gone. The look was still there, but… maybe Nines just needed to get his bearings.

This time he approached gently, slowly, placing just one hand lightly on Nines’ shoulder. He flinched away the same as before, but this time didn't attack. Instead, his brows furrowed, and his LED, which had been swirling around fast and violent red, slowed its flickering.

“Nines? Nines, hey!”

No response. Not one that indicated Nines had heard that, anyway, or that he could even see Gavin. Even when he lifted his head up to be eye level with the Detective, his gaze was off to the side, like… like he was _blind_.

“Fuck, hey—” Gavin snapped his fingers in front of Nines’ eyes, then next to his ear. Nothing.

“We should get him out of here, I'm sure someone at maintenance can do something for him,” Hank interjected.

“Yeah…”

It could all be fixed, Gavin told himself. He was just freaked out that his boyfriend couldn't see him or hear him. Seeing Nines with that confused, helpless look on his face fucking terrified Gavin. The android was never scared, even when he'd had bullets riddling his chest and thirium gushing on the floor he hadn't been scared; even when faced with being dropped off a thirteen-storey building, or facing down five armed suspects at once with no backup. Seeing him like this…

Yeah, they had to get him out of here, pronto.

“Alright tin can, you gotta get up.”

Gavin moved to slip one arm behind Nines’ back, grabbing at the other to hook over his own shoulders. But he was stopped with a snarl, snatched by the jaw and pushed against the wall.

Hank lurched forward to tackle Nines down, but Gavin shouted at him to stop.

“Leave him alone! He's just gonna smash your face in,” he growled, going slack in the android's grip. No struggle, no threat. He took his hands off Nines, held them up for a moment and stared into the burning blue eyes that were boring a hole into the wall next to his head.

“It's me babe, it's Gavin.” He knew the words wouldn't reach the android's ears, but by some miracle energy or bullshit psychic link, maybe Nines would feel them.

It seemed to work, or maybe it was that no one had made a move in the last thirty seconds, because Nines’ grip loosened on Gavin's jaw and the arm pressing him against the wall eased up a little. His thumb brushed along the stubble of the man's jaw, then, cautiously, reached up to trace the faint dip of the scar on his nose.

“Gavin?” Nines asked quietly. His voice wavered. It broke Gavin's fucking heart. He had to get this fixed. As soon as fucking possible.

Gavin took Nines’ hand in his own, drawing his touch away from his face so he could try again to help his partner to his feet. This time he didn't assault anyone, thank God.

“Took you long enough,” the Detective muttered under his breath, but he wasn't irritated— only massively relieved.

Hank came over to help, and together they brought the android up from the floor and began leading him out.

“I'm sorry— I hope I didn't hurt you.” Damn, so apologetic. Gavin wondered if the jammer hadn't scrambled Nines’ personality, too. “There was an EMP grenade, it's disabled my primary sensory functions and any wireless communication. I… I didn't know it was you.”

“S'alright, babe.” Despite being on the steep, rickety stairs and struggling down the steps with himself and Hank Anderson trying to support a wounded, malfunctioning android, Gavin braved his tiptoes to lean up to the step behind him and place a forgiving kiss on said android's jaw.

Hank flailed to catch the railing as Nines’ weight shifted, and he grumbled his discontent at how Gavin was going to make him break his fucking neck falling down the stairs.

Nines worriedly babbled for a moment until he'd realized he wouldn't get any answers. The perps had been armed— Was everyone okay? Was _Gavin_ okay? Did they catch their suspects? Gavin tried his best to give him some comfort just through touch. The android was normally so on top of everything; he must really fucking hate not knowing what's up.

Outside, Tina and Chris were still there, leaned up against their cruiser and just starting to worry about the three detectives they'd left behind. Connor, no longer jittering, was pacing— a habit he had in the precinct that drove Gavin absolutely nuts— until he saw his colleagues and sprinted up to help them.

“Nines!” he exclaimed as Hank put his side if the weight down. Gavin could handle him the rest if the way. When Nines didn't answer to his brother's voice, Connor frowned. “Is he… he's still jammed?”

“Yep,” Hank replied. “Found the EMP thing and destroyed it, but… Didn't help.”

“An EMP?”

“That's what he said it was, yeah.”

“An electromagnetic pulse is different than just jamming a signal.” The android worried his bottom lip with his teeth. “Depending on the strength of the pulse, it could have ruined some of his components.”

Gavin did not like the sound of that. “Well… we just replace 'em then, right?”

“Well…” Connor hesitated. He had this fucking look on his face like he was trying to break some bad news as softly as possible. Fuck.

“Well _what?_ ” Gavin growled. His grip on Nines tightened, and the android looked at him questioningly. Or, tried to look at him, at least. He still couldn't see.

“Nines is the only existing RK900 unit. Production was halted after the revolution. He was their show model.”

Gavin really, _really_ did not like the fucking sound of that.

“While there are unactivated RK800s, not all of our components are interchangeable with RK900s because his BIOS is a different version from ours. So, I can't guarantee that all of the parts he needs will be available.”

Whatever the fuck a BIOS was, Gavin was pissed. Special fucking model android and his special fucking parts. Shoulda let Cyberlife win the revolution, then at least there'd be thousands more RK900s to rip components from- or hey, actual fucking tech support for them. It was like having a rare disease or being allergic to all the medications in the world— no one knew what to do with you when you were fucking _dying._

“Gavin? We should be getting back to the station.”

Everyone looked at Nines when he spoke. He looked so lost, red ring solid at the side of his head, occasionally swirling. He was trying to stay calm, like this was just a normal fucking day for him, just a thing that happened and was easily resolved. Except he obviously hated this more than Gavin did, the unsure lilt in his voice gave it away. Nines was never unsure. And if he ever was, he didn't show it.

Gavin squeezed his partner's hand. “We'll get there, babe.” He knew Nines couldn't hear it, but at it made Gavin feel better to talk to him, just in case that psychic bullshit was real.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The darkness fizzed away in black and colored stripes until they aligned to form the image of… Nines himself. Nines blinked, but the picture did not blink with him— he still saw himself during the half second that his eyes were closed, blinking right back at him.
> 
> Then the sound crackled in, the low humming of the precinct's air conditioning coming in so terribly loud compared to the vacuum he'd just come out of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last bit of this chapter (when we switch from Gavin back to Nines) has a weird out of body experience thing in it, so if that kind of thing is uncomfortable for you, you might wanna skip it.
> 
> Enjoy!

Dark. Everything was so dark. So… so quiet. _Empty._

This shouldn't really be as awful as it was, Nines thought. He was still alive, and not dying. This could be fixed. He might be the only extant RK900 unit, but there must be a stash of hardware for him somewhere.

Was anyone _trying_ to fix it was his concern. Even though he knew it was Gavin who had helped him up from the ground and carried him out to the car— the other hands, he wasn't sure. Probably Hank?— and who sat next to him now, he still worried.

Were they going back to the station? Back to Gavin's apartment? To his own? To Cyberlife? No one could tell him, because he couldn't hear them. Couldn't connect. He also couldn't hear his own voice, which was terribly disorienting. He'd send the signal to say something, but have no idea if he'd actually said it. So he chose not to speak much. He wouldn't hear the response anyway.

As long as he rode in the car next to Gavin, he tried not to worry. He'd panicked at the scene, froze up because he'd only put himself in more danger if he tried to stumble his way around the building. Now he was safe, but he was stiff in his seat, jaw clenched tight, until he felt a warm touch on his hand.

Gavin's fingers curled into his own, and Nines felt the tension clear from his body. He savored the warm skin, his one connection to the rest of the world.

And then, when the car stopped, it was taken away. His hand trailed after Gavin's, but it left him. In its place he received soft lips on his cheek, but those left, too.

For fourteen point thirty-eight seconds, Nines sat alone again. Then he felt the car shift, and a pair of hands helped him out and into what he assumed was the station. He had no idea exactly where they were, of course— he could only estimate based on the number of steps they took and the short flight of stairs.

They didn't go into an elevator, but by now he was certain this was the precinct. A couple times they stopped or slowed or swerved, and with his dysfunctional leg Nines found it difficult to adjust. But Gavin put up with him, leading him down a maze of hallways that he'd already lost track of.

Eventually they stopped and stood for a moment, then took four short steps before he was sat onto a table. It felt like metal covered in a thin sheet. They were at maintenance, or so he assumed.

Nines didn't know how long it would take to fix this. He did know, however, that he didn't want to be alone, no matter how strongly he wanted to act unphased.

“Gavin? Are you returning to work?” was his way of asking Gavin to stay. He didn't know how he'd get a response, and he couldn't even be sure that he'd actually said it, but he tried to sound neutral— as though he didn't care if Gavin returned to work or not.

Then Gavin did a strange thing. He took both of Nines’ hands in his own, cupped them around his face, and gently shook his head from side to side. _No_.

Just knowing that Gavin was in the room made the next two hours much less nerve-wracking. Nines hated maintenance on a good day; he accepted it as a necessary part of life, but detested others touching him, examining him, and putting their hands and tools inside his components.

The first order of business was his leg. Easily fixed; the bullet was removed, wires reconnected, and wound cauterized. Any residual damage would be dealt with by his self-healing functions.

Once in a while there would be a ginger touch at his back, a slight squeeze of his hand, or a palm rested against his shoulder. Just to let him know that Gavin was there, he imagined. It made the experience of diagnostics much more bearable; what he liked less than having his hardware touched, was any poking around in his software.

When the wires were plugged into the the back of Nines’ neck, he stiffened. His stress spiked whenever he saw a new command sent through his prompt. Normally he'd be able to speak to, hear, and see the technician. They'd go through a diagnostic mostly verbally. Now they were running a full troubleshoot, and it could take hours.

But it seemed there wasn't as much to go through as he'd thought. An hour later and the scans had stopped. There was no movement that Nines could detect for several minutes— no touches from Gavin, either. He sat patiently, waiting for something to happen.

Something slammed on the table to his left; a startled Nines turned to face its direction.

“Gavin?”

Another slam. Then nothing. Then a hand at his back. It wasn't as reassuring as he'd hoped.

A string of words appeared in the corner of Nines’ vision, where the command prompt sat blinking idly.

**> Hi Nines, this is Dr. Rayez. I've run a number of diagnostics as you can probably tell. **

The words deleted themselves when he'd had time to read them.

**> What I've found is that the EMP grenade ruined a number of components on the surface of your body, ones that aren't protected by shielding like your braincase.**

_Obviously._

**> I can see you rolling your eyes. This is serious.**  
**> Anyway, I do have some bad news for you. **  
**> Because of your unique model, we may not have a way to replace those components.**

“What?”

The palm at his back moved to his hand, but he found himself tugging away to grasp the edge of the table with white knuckles.

** > Those include your visual and audio processors. They are quite different from an RK800’s—**

_“What?”_

Errors filled the black void: stress levels too high, slipping composure, _panic_. Nines could feel his fingers putting dents in the metal beneath him.

“So I'll be deaf and blind for the rest of my life? That's ridiculous—” He'd be useless, fucking _useless_ — “You might as well deactivate me!”

The thirium pump in his chest raced, his blood ran cold. This wasn't right. It couldn't be right, there had to be extra parts for him somewhere.

Before he could open his mouth for a tirade about incompetence and how the doctor should fucking _try harder_ , or make her own damn components if she had to, two warm arms wrapped around him and a nose nuzzled into his neck. A hot breath that Nines knew carried words brushed over his skin and calmed him… but only a little. His head fell forward to rest on Gavin's shoulder, but he soon pulled away, leaving the android alone again.

The command prompt deleted itself and new words appeared.

**> dont listen to dr fuckin doom and gloom over here. Connor says some RK800 parts are interchangeable with yours**

Gavin. It was Gavin typing to him, _his_ words appearing behind Nines’ eyes. The android's heart leaped at them, even after just a few hours of being sightless and soundless. That punctuation-less string of words brought more light to Nines’ dark world than he'd ever thought possible.

Instead of deleting the string, Gavin pressed enter. The command console spat a message back at him.

 **> Command not found. For help, type /help.**  
**> fuck i hope i didn't just fuck something up**  
**> Command not found. For help, type /help.**  
**> fuck sorry**

“You didn't, it's fine,” Nines said aloud. He couldn't help but smile at his idiot, even in these circumstances.

 **> but yeah we're gonna get you fuckin fixed even if we have to get some nerd to build the parts for us**  
**> and even if that costs a billion fuckin dollars**  
**> got it?**

“Yes.” If it was going to cost a billion dollars, there was no chance they'd get those parts. But the sentiment was sweet.

 **> rayez is kicking me off her computer before I fuck up**  
**> i'll be right next to you until you get fixed**  
**> i love you, ok?**

“Okay.”

There were no more words, and the wires came out of his neck after that. But he kept the prompt up just to reread the lines over and over and over, a reminder that he wasn't alone.

_I'll be right next to you._

_I love you._

 

* * *

 

“I bet you could jerry-rig a couple Go-Pros to his face.”

“Fuck off, Tina. Don't fucking joke about it.”

Chen scowled from her seat atop Gavin's desk. Everyone who'd been at the scene (except Hank, who was talking to Fowler), and even a few who hadn't, had gathered around to see how Nines was doing. His partner had promptly chased most of them away, except for Tina and Connor.

“I'm not joking!” the officer snipped, crossing her arms. “It'd at least be _something_ , right?”

Gavin frowned and looked at Nines sitting next to him. They'd wheeled his chair over to Gavin's side of the desk so he could keep an eye (and a hand) on the android. He wasn't planning on staying long; only long enough to update Fowler and company about the situation, then he'd bring Nines home with him.

The android probably wouldn't take kindly to having two dinky little cameras strapped to his face. He had a lot if pride, and even without his eyesight he'd probably fight something that would make him look as ridiculous as that. Besides, how the hell would they even hook that up?

“That probably wouldn't work,” Connor answered helpfully. “Almost all ports and file types used in Cyberlife androids are proprietary. Even if you could create a port converter to connect the cameras with, they wouldn't output audio or video in the proper format.”

Gavin understood most of that. Tina, however, squinted at the RK800 like he had three heads.

“English, please?”

“That was about as simply as I could put it.”

“It's like forcing a square block into a circular hole,” Gavin explained. He may not know what a BIOS was, but he understood that you couldn't put a micro-USB plug in a USB-C port. “And even if you manage that, the camera would be speaking a different language than Nines’ brain.”

“That’s… fairly accurate.” Connor sounded surprised. Gavin sneered at him.

“Okay, so he's just gonna be like this until we can find the parts?”

“Correct,” Connor replied.

Tina frowned, looking worriedly at the RK900 sitting uncomfortably still next to Gavin. It went unspoken that, if not for the look on his face, he seemed eerily like the patrol bots lined up against the wall before the revolution. Unseeing, unhearing, unless given a proper command. It gave Gavin chills.

Fuck Cyberlife. Yeah, using their own special shit probably saved a lot of androids from a lot of illegal and dangerous mods, but being the Apple product of robots sure wasn't helping Nines now. And an expensive, one-of-a-kind Apple product, to boot. Damn android couldn't even open a .mp4 file. What the fuck.

“Unless…”

Connor was studying Nines thoughtfully, his LED sparking yellow between cycles of blue. Gavin's head snapped over to glare at him, the fucker just standing there chewing his lip like no one was waiting for him to follow up on that.

“The fuck is with you and the one word lead-ins? Unless fucking _what?”_ the detective growled.

“Sorry, I was thinking out loud,” Connor apologized. Gavin narrowed his eyes, willing the android to just spit it out. “I was thinking that I might be able to send him the audio-visual feed from my own sensors via interfacing. It's not a permanent solution, but it could give him some way to interact with us, even briefly.”

“ _Why the fuck didn't you think of that before?_ ”

“Nines doesn't generally like interfacing, so it just didn't occur to me. I'm sorry.”

Gavin had risen from his seat, about ready to knock the android in his pretty little face. Nines could have heard and seen him this whole time, but Twinkbot just hadn't thought of it? As usual, Connor was unphased, and didn't even take a step back. Tina hopped down from her perch and stood between the two.

“Break it up, boys,” she sighed, turning to Gavin. “Why don't you try that? It's worth a shot.”

Glancing at Nines, who had since closed his malfunctioning eyes and was breathing very slowly and deliberately, Gavin nodded. It was something, wasn't it? Now he had the chance to have Nines hear and see him. The android had looked so relieved just to see Gavin typing to him in his command prompt. Fucking Rayez should have let them talk for longer.

“...Yeah.” Gavin pushed back his chair. “Let's go somewhere else, though.”

In the few seconds that his hand was off of Nines’ shoulder, the android's fingers curled into fists, eyes opening as if he was trying to see where his partner had gone. Obviously it didn't help, but Gavin's grip was back on him soon enough. The detective tugged him to his feet and lead him towards the empty conference room, Connor trailing behind and Tina returning to her desk.

Moving Nines was much easier now that his leg wasn't busted, but Gavin admittedly would have carried his partner around forever if it meant he never had to suffer this deaf and blind bullshit. God, how did people live like that? If they were born that way, it probably didn't really matter to them, but someone who'd had it all? Crisp, hawk-like vision and a doberman's ears? Fucking _heat vision_ and shit? Just suddenly gone? Gavin would go insane.

They sat Nines down at the table in the conference room, Gavin on one side of him and Connor on the other.

“As I said,” Connor turned himself to face Nines fully and take his arm. The RK900’s brows furrowed as he tried to determine who else was touching him besides Gavin. “He doesn't like interfacing, so he might not want to do this.”

“Just fucking try it.”

“Understood."

 

* * *

 

**[INCOMING INTERFACE REQUEST**

**MODEL: RK800**  
**SERIAL#: 313 248 317 - 51**

 **ALLOW? (y/n)**  
**> |   ]**

“Connor?”

The fingers wrapped around Nines’ forearm squeezed gently. He rarely did this. It was too intimate for the RK900, too much chance that someone would see something Nines didn't want them to see. Right now he felt like if he connected to Connor, the muted panic he'd been battling all day would come crashing through. But then, he hadn't heard a voice or properly spoken with anyone since the EMP had gone off hours ago. He had no idea what was happening or if anyone had a plan to fix him.

Connor squeezed again.

 **[ALLOW? (y/n)**  
**> |   ]**

If Nines allowed the interface, Connor could explain everything,he reasoned. Connor could be his mouth piece to speak to Gavin. He just had to calm down; this was not permanent. He was an RK900 android, and not designed to fail.

Nines took a deep breath to still his shuddering systems.

 **[ALLOW? (y/n)**  
**> y**

**INITIATING CONNECTION…]**

**Nines!**

The onslaught of data— thoughts, emotions, _worry worry worry_ , all about him, about Nines— was enough to make the RK900 jerk his arm back, but Connor had him firm in his grip.

 **Please, don't close the connection,** Connor begged. **Are you doing alright?**

**I'm fine, Connor.**

That was a lie, and he knew Connor could tell. Interfacing tore away all of the masks Nines normally wore and shattered them to pieces. He hated it. His brother could feel the anxiety sitting just under the surface of his words, and there was no hiding it.

 **If you say so.** The RK800 chose not to argue with him. A relief. **I think I might have a way to let you see and hear things, just for a little bit.**

**...And what's that?**

**I can send you my sensory feed.**

Now _that_ might be too much, even in these circumstances, not only because of the incredible amount of data they'd be exchanging, but also the amount of processing power it would take for Connor to do it.

**I couldn't commandeer you like that.**

**Nines, I'm offering.** Another quick tightening of Connor's grip. **Gavin is here. I'm sure he'd like to talk to you.**

Gavin _would_ like to talk to him. Nines would also like to talk to Gavin. He'd love that, actually. If Nines could just hear one word in his voice…

 **We can try it,** Nines finally answered after moments of deliberation. He could practically feel Connor's wide smile just through his touch.

**[THIS SOURCE:**

**MODEL: RK800**  
**SERIAL#: 313 248 317 - 51**  
**MANUFACTURER: CYBERLIFE INC**

**WOULD LIKE TO STREAM DATA TO THIS UNIT.**

**ALLOW? (y/n)**  
**> y]**

The darkness fizzed away in black and colored stripes until they aligned to form the image of… Nines himself. Nines blinked, but the picture did not blink with him— he still saw himself during the half second that his eyes were closed, blinking right back at him.

Then the sound crackled in, the low humming of the precinct's air conditioning coming in so terribly loud compared to the vacuum he'd just come out of.

Just next to him was Gavin, hand set firmly on his shoulder as it had been for the better part if the day. It was more affection than they normally showed in front of their coworkers, and Nines had tried not to flush at how many people must have seen it.

“Well?” Gavin asked impatiently. His voice, coarse with that hint of bass, sent Nines’ pump jumping again. It should have sounded closer, mouth inches from Nines’ ear, but the sound came from Connor's perspective in the opposite seat.

Nines felt- and saw- himself smiling to finally hear the detective. It was terribly strange, to watch himself staring off into the distance, yet seeming to react to something no one was looking at. It almost wiped the smile off his face.

“Is it working, Nines?” Connor asked. The sound came from both inside his head and outside. Nines hated it, and the disoriented frown that grew on his face.

“It… it is…”

This was worse than not hearing his own voice at all. A foot away, coming from someone else's mouth. Well… his own mouth, but it wasn't attached to him. No, it was attached to him, but… Nines’ processors were practically steaming as they tried to comprehend.

“Yeah? You hear me, Nines? Can you see me?” Gavin dipped his head down into what would have been Nines’ field of view, if he wasn't looking out of Connor's eyes. He tried to raise his free arm to reach out and touch Gavin, but it was like it wasn't part of him. It moved jerkily, and he had to watch himself through Connor to brush his fingers against Gavin's cheek.

Gavin placed a hand over Nines’, holding the android's palm against his face. The warmth was there, and the soft texture of skin and rough, prickly stubble. But it wasn't in front of him like it should be, it was across from him, like watching in a mirror, and no matter how much Nines tried to turn his head and look at the man he knew was right next to him, the perspective didn't move and he could only see himself struggling.

No, no, he fucking _hated_ this.

“Please turn the video off, Connor,” Nines heard his shaking voice say. The amount of disquiet he heard there tempted him to ask Connor to cut the audio, too, but maybe it would be more bearable without seeing himself from the outside.

“What's wrong?” Connor asked, though he complied in halting the visual feed. The world went black again.

“It's too disorienting,” Nines fought to reign in the tremble of his voice. Now he could move properly. A little clumsily, but he could run his fingers over Gavin's face and through his hair without having a crisis about which body was his— Connor's or his own.

“I see. I'm sorry.”

“Not your fault,” Gavin answered for Nines. A little surprising, considering he still butted heads with Connor constantly. “The hearing's okay though, right?”

Nines knew that Gavin was next to him, and that his voice should be coming from the left, but instead it came from in front of him, slightly to the right. Everything's sounds were flipped, but it was easier to deal with when he didn't have anything to look at.

“Yes, it's fine.”

A beat of silence. Gavin took Nines’ hand from his face and wrapped it in both of his own.

“Sorry I couldn't talk to you longer down in maintenance,” came Gavin's voice again. “Rayez wanted me out of her shit, thought I was gonna accidentally factory reset you or something.”

“You said as much.” Nines’ lips curled into a smirk. “Though, I don't think she should have been worried. It takes a good amount if technical knowledge to do that.”

“You sayin’ I don't know computers?” Gavin sounded irritated, but only for show. This was how they spoke to each other when things were normal. Nines closed his eyes— it didn't change anything, but it felt better— and revelled in the banter.

“If you can't properly operate a command console, you can't factory reset an android. Though, I do hope you don't have any desire to.”

“I might, if you keep bein’ such a prick.”

Nines was grinning his usual smug grin by now, and could feel that Gavin was doing the same. He would miss this once the connection between himself and Connor closed. He already missed it.

“Nines,” Connor said, and suddenly the RK900 was painfully reminded that he was not in his own head. The smile fell from his face and returned to the stiff, clenched jaw he'd had earlier. “Was Dr. Rayez able to tell you anything about which components you'll need replaced?”

Nines opened his mouth, but Gavin answered first, the scowl on his face audible.

“She told me,” he said. “She thinks he'll need all of his wireless adapters replaced. I don't know what all of those are, but—”

“I believe they're the same as an RK800 uses,” Nines interrupted. He'd felt so useless during this entire process— one that was about _himself._ He had to be of at least some help.

“Good. And then she said his audio processors, eyes, and… I think she said he has a Geiger  Counter?”

“Why would he need—”

“They must have seen potential for nuclear disaster in the near future.” Nines shrugged. Whatever ridiculous monitors he had were just more tools at his disposal; it didn't bother him. “I'm not very concerned about replacing that one.”

“Well, those are the components I'm not so sure about, anyway,” Nines heard Connor sigh. “I think our audio and video components are completely different. The RK900 was upgraded with several different video modes, including heat-sensing and ultraviolet filters, and his audio processor is supposed to be able to hear more frequencies and selectively filter them out.”

“So… the most important fucking parts are the ones we can’t just get?”

“Unfortunately.”

 _Unfortunately_ , indeed. All of the calm that had settled over Nines fell away, and he was alone in the endless void again, even as he heard Gavin and Connor in the background, griping over finding Nines’ parts, Gavin getting more frustrated, Connor desperately brainstorming, Gavin's voice too far and Connor's inside his head, and what if he never heard his partner's voice properly again? What if he could never see him, and what if he could never do the job he loves, or work a case, and what if he had to be deactivated, or—

**[WARNING: STRESS LEVELS OVER 75%]**

“Nines?”

“What— Nines? Babe, hey—”

He snatched his arm away from Connor.

**[CONNECTION ABORTED]**

Everything went quiet.

It was Nines and the void now. He pulled up the command console to find that it had cleared its history. Gavin's words weren't there anymore.

This was ridiculous; one of biggest advantages of being an android was the interchangeability of biocomponents. Come to find out, he couldn't even do that with the reliability that he thought he could.

It made him feel fragile, on top if helpless and useless— all emotions he'd never felt before today. RK900s were built to be in control at all times, and he always had been until now.

Nines could feel Gavin shaking him gently and Connor trying to reach for him to reconnect. He pulled away, crossing his arms tightly across his chest until his brother gave up. Gavin stopped his shaking and instead pulled Nines into his arms. He was warm, and strong, and soft. The android released a heavy sigh from his chest.

If only he could hear Gavin's breath next to him, he'd be convinced that things were normal. But there was nothing, nothing, nothing...


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nines felt the air shuddering in his artificial lungs. He didn't need them— his internal cooling systems were normally enough to keep him from overheating—but something about just feeling his own breath seemed to calm him. Just in, then out, repeat. It was something to focus on, he supposed, but even as he tried to breathe the minutes away, his anxiety was spiking.

Well, that was a fucking shit show. After smiling for all of two seconds— and it was a gorgeous smile, Gavin missed it already— Nines wasn't doing any better than before. He was doing worse, actually, if anyone asked Gavin's opinion. Fuckin’ Wonderbot Connor just had to bring up the fact that they might be shit outta luck for finding RK900 parts, and next they knew Nines was sitting there having a silent meltdown.

A meltdown. _Nines_.

They needed to get the hell out of here. The android looked about ready to cry, and even Gavin had never seen him like that, not even close.

“I'm taking him home right the fuck now.” Gavin pushed back his chair, more forcefully than he probably should have. He was beyond pissed; he'd been talking to his partner, everything had been fine for a minute, but fucking _Connor_.

“Okay…” Connor reluctantly sighed, getting up and standing aside for Gavin and Nines to slip through. “You look after him. I'll work on finding those parts.”

Gavin paused while coaxing Nines up from his seat, where he'd closed himself off with his arms crossed defensively and his eyes screwed shut.

“...How long do you think it'll take?” he asked, letting his eyes wander over his partner's face. The android's lips were pressed into an uncomfortable grimace, brows knit low over his eyes, and LED whirling a distressing red.

“I can't be certain,” Connor replied. “But I should have something for him by the end of the week. At least his wireless cards, if nothing else. I'd give him my own if I can't get ahold of any... I still have the rest if my senses.”

“You know he wouldn't want that,” Gavin frowned as he smoothed Nines’ hair back into its proper position. It seemed to relax the android, if only a little.

“We wouldn't have to tell him.”

“Didn’t take you for a liar, toaster.”

With an awkward, bashful smirk, Connor replied, “Withholding information isn't exactly _lying…_ ”

Gavin's teeth flashed in a crooked smirk. He liked the way Connor thought, but he just couldn't accept. With any other boyfriend he'd ever had he might have jumped at the offer, but he found himself falling so hard for this stupid tin can that it didn't matter what _Gavin_ wanted, or if it was actually better for Nines. If it went against Nines’ principles, it wasn't going to happen. 

...Then again, he couldn't just rule it out.

“See if you can get those parts, then we'll talk,” he decided.

“Got it.”

Once Nines decided he was willing to move, he allowed Gavin to take hold of his arm to lead him. As they passed by Connor on the way out the door, the detective hesitated.

“Hey, uh,” he started, clearing his throat. _Thanks,_ some stupid, sappy part of him wanted to say. _Thanks for trying, thanks for helping_. But he couldn't shake the words from the tip of his stubborn tongue, so he opted for something less out of character. “...Let Fowler know what's going on. Tell him I'm taking sick time or something. I'll probably be home with Nines until he's…” Gavin looked the android over, his eyes staring into the middle distance before him. Christ, this sucked. “...Not like this.”

Connor nodded. “Take good care of him.”

“If he'll fuckin’ _let_ me,” Gavin tried to laugh.

The RK800 gave a weak smile, and Gavin guided Nines away. The chatter of the bullpen dropped to a murmur as they walked through. Hiding Nines’ distress from prying eyes was made difficult by the fact that he was several inches taller than Gavin, and the android seemed unable to keep his chin up. Poor guy must be fucking mortified to show so much weakness in front if his peers.

If anyone stared, Gavin told them to keep their fucking eyeballs to themselves. Nosy bastards.

But he couldn't blame them. Hell, he'd be doing the same thing if he was in their place. This was the android who had more pride than Gavin Reed and was just as stubborn, who stood like a goddamn brick wall against the scariest sons of bitches they'd gone up against, and scared them right fucking back. Now stoic, analytical, stone-faced RK900 was getting lead around by the hand.

Yeah, there was no question as to why half the precinct was watching. The facade was broken.

 

By the time they got to Gavin's apartment, Nines had calmed down. Or at least looked like he had; he might have just figured out how to bottle everything up and put on a slightly less anxious face. That was probably it, actually, if Gavin knew anything about his boyfriend.

The android had already put together where they were heading in the car, after minutes of nervous silence and then desperate apologies for his behavior (none of which Gavin would accept. None of it was Nines’ fault). They'd figured out a few ways for Gavin to answer yes or no questions, and it seemed to have helped Nines’ nerves. Gavin would press the android's hands to the sides of his face, and nod or shake his head yes or no. He'd also tried using a thumbs up or thumbs down and having Nines feel his hand, but Nines seemed to prefer the face touching. Frickin’ sap.

As soon as the door opened, they were greeted by little paws galloping up and loud, needy mewls.

“Yeah, hi,” Gavin huffed, tripping his way around the cat as she wove through his legs. The mewling continued, only getting louder and more excited every time Gavin responded. “Hi— yeah, hi, okay?! Get outta the way!”

He tugged Nines inside and closed the door before Rini had a mind to get out. Nines’ lips curled as the cat turned her attention to him, rubbing white fur all over his black slacks.

“Hello, Rini,” he smiled, crouching down and blindly holding out a hand for her to sniff at.

As long as Nines was occupied with something other than an anxiety attack, Gavin took the chance to deposit his wallet and keys on the kitchen counter and shed his shirt, which was now dry but had been disgusting earlier in the day. A chase up a flight of stairs in an abandoned, un-air conditioned building in the middle of July and carrying a hundred-fifty pound android around could really make a guy fucking sweat.

Okay, so Nines was safe and sound. He was petting the cat, or trying to when she wasn't slipping in and out if reach. They'd both just had maybe one of the stressful days of their lives—especially Nines’. And they might not get any replacement components until the end of the week. Today was Tuesday.

So… now what?

Well, get Nines to a point where he could fucking relax, first off. Relax for real, or as much as the situation would allow.

Then feed the cat. Then feed himself.

Then take a fucking shower; God, Gavin felt gross. Maybe a bath, too, just to calm his nerves. With one of those bath bombs he'd gotten at the station's White Elephant last year that he'd never admit he actually liked? Fuck yeah.

Then he'd chill out and make sure Nines was gonna be okay for the night, and go to bed. Or he'd stay up just in case, because hell if Nines was gonna tell him if something was wrong.

And tomorrow… they'd just have to tackle when they got there.

All of this was easier said than done, though. Once he'd sat Nines down and tried to make him comfortable (ignoring the many times in the past that the android had said his kind had no need for physical comfort), Gavin found it difficult to let his partner out of his sight. He sat next to him, their fingers interlaced, letting Nines quietly lay his head on the detective's shoulder.

The LED at the crest of the android's brow kept spinning, sometimes yellow, sometimes red. It was rare that his little mood ring was ever like this, but today it had been a non-stop light show of crimson and gold. Mostly crimson.

Fuck those kids for doing this to Nines. Gavin's Nines, who was always calm and cool and a motherfucking _badass_ no matter what was happening. Hot rage started to boil beneath Gavin's skin, and he squeezed Nines’ hands maybe just a little too hard. They'd make those kids fuckin’ pay, not just for the hacking, and the murder, or resisting arrest, or attacking a police officer. They'd pay for pissing Gavin off, for making Nines hurt like this.

Gavin's simmering came to an abrupt end when something crashed in the kitchen. He jolted up, Nines with him, but Gavin pressed him back down with a hand on his shoulder.

It was just Rini, standing on the kitchen table and knocking shit over. On the floor an empty mug rolled onto its side— not a single crack in it, thank God. She stared up at Gavin with huge, unblinking eyes and yowled.

“No way, not when you're throwin' shit on the floor!”

Rini eyed Gavin's keys, poking them with her paw and slowly batting them to the side. It was a threat—one Gavin gave into immediately.

“God, fucking _fine_.”

He pressed a kiss against the top of Nines’ head— “Be right back,” he said, though the android couldn't hear him—and went off to feed his little bitch of a cat, and then make himself a sandwich.

That would take all of five minutes, but Gavin found himself glancing into the living room every two seconds to see Nines struggling to keep it together. He slowly drew into himself, sinking from sitting up straight-backed and rigid, to hunching in on himself. He kept turning his head this way and that, blinking constantly as if the world would magically reappear. When it didn't, he closed his eyes and quietly lowered his head.

Once again, fuck those kids.

“...Gavin?”

Gavin looked up from the fridge, where he was putting away the cold cuts and grabbing himself a beer. Nines’ voice was less timid than it had been earlier in the day, but still more quiet than Gavin was comfortable with. _Where did you go?_ was the unspoken question hidden in his name. The android couldn't even last five fucking minutes without having someone next to him, how fucked up was that?

Jesus, how were they going to last when Gavin could only answer yes or no questions? He had to figure out how to Helen Keller this shit, otherwise Nines was going to freak the fuck out every time Gavin stepped five feet away.

Gavin shoved the rest of the cold cuts wherever he could in the fridge instead of putting them in the drawer where they belonged, and quickly swiped up his meal so he could go sit next to Nines.

“I'm sorry, I… I didn't mean to rush you,” the android said needlessly, guiltily, when he felt the couch shift. The fuck was he apologizing for? Guy goes deaf and blind in one day and then feels bad for "rushing" Gavin? Fuck that.

Depositing the plate and unopened bottle of beer in the coffee table, he took up one of Nines’ hands and pressed his lips against Nines’ knuckles, just a butterfly kiss. _It's okay,_ he meant it to say.

“I know you weren't gone long, my clock still works, but I was… I suppose I've been rather irrational since this afternoon, I'm not sure why I worried—”

Gavin quieted the android with a light punch to his shoulder. _Shut up, tin can._ And then, forgetting his food completely, brought his arms around Nines and pulled him into a tight hug. Nines relaxed into it, forehead falling against Gavin's shoulder.

_Stop apologizing, I've got you._

 

* * *

 

 

Gavin had plopped Rini into Nines’ lap and left him. Not without another little kiss—he was giving a lot of those today, not that Nines was complaining, they were comforting— but then he'd left. Perhaps to clean up his dinner (the android had realized that was why he was gone for several minutes before), or use the bathroom, or some other mundane task that Nines should definitely not be worried about.

Rini, he assumed, was supposed to be keeping him company. She was helping somewhat. As long as she didn't bolt away, Nines could be sure nothing was wrong. Or relatively sure. Or not at all, actually, said Nines’ brain as it preconstructed any number of harmful incidents that might not scare a cat.

Petting her was distracting, at least. Nines could feel her purring beneath his fingers, twisting and stretching in his lap. Whenever Nines pulled his hands away, she would pull them back, paws wrapped around his wrist and gently tugging. He found himself faintly smiling, until he checked the time.

Gavin had been gone for twenty-six minutes and eighteen-point-three seconds. Perhaps he was in the shower… but he normally didn't take this long. He wouldn't have left to go to the store, would he? Not when Nines was like  _this_.

Nines’ initial inclination was to go looking for Gavin, but he immediately dismissed it as foolish. He didn't doubt that he could visualize the apartment's layout enough to navigate it, but what was he hoping to accomplish by wandering around aimlessly, unable to see or hear what he was looking for?

That, and the image of himself feeling his way around the open air in front of him made the android cringe... And he didn't want to seem needy, or helpless, or any if the other things he was feeling like right now.

Still, the time spent alone with only an affectionate cat for company was eating at him.

Nines felt the air shuddering in his artificial lungs. He didn't need them— his internal cooling systems were normally enough to keep him from overheating—but something about just feeling his own breath seemed to calm him. Just in, then out, repeat. It was something to focus on, he supposed, but even as he tried to breathe the minutes away, his anxiety was spiking.

So needlessly, too, he reminded himself. Gavin was somewhere nearby, doing something mundane, perfectly safe. The detective could be petulant when he held a grudge or when he was angry, but he would never in a million years abandon Nines like this.

But that's not what his speeding thirium pump or the knot forming at the pit of his chassis were saying. It wasn't even that Nines thought or felt like he'd been abandoned. It was more the worry that he'd be like this forever, that he'd never see or hear Gavin again, he'd never be useful, he'd never be _himself_. Every rational thought in his head reassured him that this was only temporary, but once feeling took hold, it fed and gorged and grew on all of his anxieties.

Rini was no longer purring in Nines’ lap. He hadn't even noticed that he'd stopped petting her. She was gone, probably off to find something more interesting to do or eat. It was just a cat, she didn't understand, but now the android had nothing to root him in reality.

Thirty minutes and fifty-three seconds had elapsed since the detective had left him.

“Gavin?”

Nines waited. He let thirty seconds pass.

“Gavin…?” He stood on uncertain legs, stepping widely around where he knew the coffee table to be.

“Gav-”

There were hands on him, steadily holding his arms. It had to be his partner, but Nines raised his hand up to thumb over the man's face. Soft, prickly with stubble, a long, shallow scar running across the bridge of his nose. Gavin.

The detective gently took Nines’ hand from his face and ran it into his hair. It was wet and uncombed. Experimentally, the android placed his other palm against the man's chest. Bare. Further down was the plush fabric if a towel, now damp. He'd just been showering... There'd been no reason to worry.

Gavin drew Nines’ hand from his hair and faced it palm up, then traced a finger over it. Nines concentrated on the shapes; they were letters.

 _S O R R Y,_ Gavin spelled out.

“No, I shouldn't have been so impa—” a hand covered the android's mouth. _Shut up_ , it said.

Then he was being lead away, into what his mind-map told him was the bedroom. Gavin kept a hand around Nines’ arm even while he walked around the room, shifting his weight awkwardly as he tried to do everything with one hand.

After a few minutes of that, Nines felt a tugging at his jacket. He let it slip off, but stopped Gavin at his shirt. Being undressed like this would be humiliating, even by his own boyfriend. It wasn't the fun kind of undressing; it felt as though he was being treated like a child, or an invalid. Nines could certainly still manage to take his own clothes off, so he did—though he couldn't be certain where he'd actually put everything after it came off.

“Did you want…?” Nines trailed off when his palms were placed on Gavin's cheeks, and the man's head shook _no_. Of course the detective wouldn't take advantage… that had been a foolish thought. Admittedly, Nines was relieved. He wasn't sure if he'd have even allowed it while he was in this state, anyway.

Something soft was shoved into the android's hands. Soft, squishy, and rectangular. A pillow, clearly. _Bedtime_ , Gavin was saying.

Nines was finding a new appreciation for tactile sensation, even in just the last half a day. The bed was cushy, and took up the heat of their bodies immediately. It was easier to relax here than on the sofa, though Gavin laying next to him helped more than anything.

The detective gently pulled Nines into his arms, the android coming to nuzzle up beneath his chin. It was an unusual position for them; normally the roles were reversed, Gavin curled with his back up against Nines’ chest, at least until the human contorted himself into some ridiculous position during the night. Being the one being held was… different. Nines couldn't decide if it was nice or not; it felt safe, but also _vulnerable,_ something he'd had far too much of today.

It was quiet and calm for a long while, but Nines knew Gavin wasn’t sleeping by the way the rise and fall of his chest hadn't slowed and how he was slowly stroking a hand through Nines’ hair. How he wished he could see Gavin's face right now, his grey-blue eyes drifting away into dreams. Instead all he had was blank, black space in front of him.

“Did anyone say how long it may take to find my components?” Nines asked. Gavin shifted and took up Nines’ hand to draw out his words again.

C O N N O R  S A Y S  W I F I  B Y  W E E K E N D, he spelled.

What a terribly inefficient way to communicate. It was slow, and certainly didn't allow for much detail. By WiFi Nines assumed (or hoped) Gavin meant his network adapters as a whole, but what of his senses?

“And… everything else?”

A moment's hesitation set the android on edge. He suspected Gavin was deciding how to respond, which didn't make him very hopeful about their prospects. Funny how even communicating like this, a person could still tell what the other was thinking.

W E ‘ L L  T R Y.

Trying wasn't what Nines wanted to hear, but he knew that Connor and Gavin were doing their best. Gaining access to RK800 parts wasn't going to be easy; he'd have to get permission from Cyberlife first. As for the RK900 components, extras might not even exist. He'd been taken off the market before he'd even hit; there wasn't exactly an assembly line of them.

The deep frown on Nines’ face dug deeper with a shaking exhale, and he buried his face deeper into Gavin's collar.

“I miss you,” Nines quietly told the void. It ate his words like candy, spitting out nothing but silence in return. Beyond the blackness, two steady hands cupped his cheeks and wiped away the moisture that he hadn't realized was there.

Nines couldn't hear it, but he felt it from the warmth that enveloped him when Gavin squeezed him tight, and in the faint rumble of his throat, and the sharp rise and fall of his chest as he sighed.

 _I miss you, too,_ Gavin said.

Nines let himself sink into the warmth, his last link to the world outside, and his anxious thoughts stilled.

**[INITIATING STASIS MODE…]**


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin scrambled back to the bedroom, tripping over himself just as he came up to the nightstand. He cursed his newly stubbed toe and scrabbled to pick up his cell, not even caring to look at the Caller ID because he knew it was Connor and if it wasn't he was going to be fucking pissed at whoever was calling him at 6AM when he was on personal time.
> 
> “Yeah?” he gracefully answered. The android on the other end gave a cordial response.
> 
> “Good morning Detective, it's Con—”
> 
> “Yeah yeah, what? Did you find anything?”
> 
> “I did,” the RK800 replied.

By Friday, Gavin was so aching to have his Nines back that he swore he was developing abandonment issues. He didn't want to take two steps away from the android, once or twice nearly brought him into the bathroom, and felt like a fucking helicopter mom who couldn't leave her kid alone for five seconds.

The worst part was that he could see Nines, hear him, touch him, but it was like he wasn't there. Not the normal Nines, who teased him at every chance with razor sharp wit and sarcasm, or who could crack a case in thirty seconds flat just by determining the trajectory of a bullet through a guy's head. This Nines was constantly on edge, always silent with this terrible lost look in his eyes, and it made Gavin's heart hurt just to look at him.

Of course, nothing could compare to the empty hell Gavin knew Nines must be going through. The android had told him as much, during one of his despairing apologies for being such a burden. Gavin had to wonder if Nines knew how needless it was, begging forgiveness for something that wasn't his fault. Maybe it just spoke to the android's sense of independence that he couldn't even accept the help that Gavin, his fucking partner of all people, was giving him without feeling pathetic.

Once again, fuck those little hacker shits.

Gavin raised himself from the bed, disentangling himself from Nines’ arms and looking down to watch him. His face was set in a serene calm now, LED peaceful blue with only the occasional interrupting blip of red. The RK900 normally didn't go into stasis often, but he'd done so every night since Tuesday. Gavin wondered why he didn't just stay that way until all of this was over; there were plenty of dumb problems that the detective wished he could sleep through, let alone real issues.

Out in the kitchen, Rini was screaming. It was six in the morning— breakfast time, stupid human! Fuck if Gavin could ever sleep solidly until eight or nine, even on a day off. Should've gotten a fish. Much fucking quieter, and no fur.

Eh, but fish were boring and couldn't sit in your lap or keep your deafblind robot boyfriend occupied while you were making dinner. They also couldn't rub up against your legs all cute like Rini did as Gavin stumbled out into the kitchen, yawning and picking the wedgie from the seat of his boxers.

Just as he reached the kitchen and was pulling the bag of kibble out— swearing at his noisy cat all the way— Gavin paused. Something was… was something buzzing?

Fuck, his phone!

Forgetting the bag and the cat that would probably tear it apart, Gavin scrambled back to the bedroom, tripping over himself just as he came up to the nightstand. He cursed his newly stubbed toe and scrabbled to pick up his cell, not even caring to look at the Caller ID because he knew it was Connor and if it wasn't he was going to be fucking pissed at whoever was calling him at 6AM when he was on personal time.

“Yeah?” he gracefully answered. The android on the other end gave a cordial response.

“Good morning Detective, it's Con—”

“Yeah yeah, what? Did you find anything?”

Gavin could practically hear Connor pouting at being so rudely cut off, but frankly, he couldn't care. Not in normal circumstances, and certainly not now.

“I did,” the RK800 replied. Gavin strained to hold his tongue from prodding Connor with questions; he'd explain. “I located a set of RK800 network adapters at Cyberlife— fortunately I'll be keeping my own— and was able to get them for a reasonable price.”

Fuck, they'd have to pay Connor back for this shit, wouldn't they? Or did the health insurance from the Police Department extend to android parts now…? Well, they'd figure that out later.

“Okay, and the other parts? The audio-video stuff…?”

“Not yet, unfortunately. The Cyberlife employees I was able to get in contact with weren't privy to the RK900’s development, so—”

“Yeah, I get it.”

Maybe it was Connor's own disappointment about the whole thing that hung in the air over the phone line, or maybe it was way Gavin stopped him before he could explain because he just didn't care _why_ they couldn't get the component, but they were both quiet for a moment longer than was comfortable. Dammit, Nines was going to be like this for how much fucking longer, with just the internet and texting to keep him company.

Fuck, at least it was something. At least Gavin could tell Nines something that was more than a three word sentence, and not have to be touching him to say it.

“Dr. Rayez should be in at around nine,” Connor finally said.

“Cool. See you then.”

Gavin hung up and let go of a heavy sigh. He watched the android in his bed for a few moments longer, fighting back the urge to touch him and hold him— he didn't want to wake him up just yet, he looked so peaceful.

So instead Gavin cleaned up the mess that Rini had already made tearing into the bag of cat food, gave her a proper breakfast, made one for himself, washed up, and threw on some clean clothes. By the time he'd finished with all that it was seven o'clock, and Nines was still not awake. Normally the android set his own alarm, so Gavin let him be for a while longer.

And then it was seven-thirty, and then eight. When the hell had he set his alarm for? Normally Nines was the one who was up at the asscrack of dawn.

Well, it was time to wake the fuck up. Sleeping beauty had had enough rest, and Gavin wanted to _go._

Sitting beside the android, Gavin reached out to jostle Nines’ shoulder. Lightly— he didn't want to get kicked in the guts like he had days ago. Nines’ brows scrunched together and his LED flickered yellow, but he didn't move.

Okay, that was too fucking cute. Why did Gavin never get to see that when things were normal? He was almost tempted to let the android stay in bed all day, but “get Nines fixed” was higher up on his to-do list than “leave sleepy robot alone.”

He shook at Nines again, a little harder this time. “Rise and shine, tin man!” he said, more to himself than to the android. He knew Nines wouldn't hear, but it felt weird to be silent.

The android jolted upright, grabbing at Gavin's arm and nearly twisting it off. He snatched for the man's throat but instead caught his jaw, and stared blankly at the space in front of him. At Gavin, but not.

This was how Gavin was gonna die. Maybe not today, but if he survived until they got all of Nines' components back, it would be a goddamn miracle. Every morning the android woke up and freaked the fuck out because he'd forgotten that he couldn't see, and if Gavin was too close he got a fist to the face or a nearly dislocated shoulder.

Gavin flailed to worm his way out of Nines’ grip; eventually he was released, Nines turning away to mope on the other side of the bed. Shit, what a concept. Nines _moping._ It was still unsettling, the way he'd been since this all started. Apologetic and uncertain and so fucking _sad_. Sometimes angry, but mostly just sad.

“...I'm sorry, Gavin,” he mumbled, gripping the edge of the mattress as if he were about to tear it apart. He didn't even try to look at Gavin, back completely to him and gaze down towards the ground.

Instead of accepting the apology, Gavin crawled over to Nines and gingerly lifted his chin with two fingers. The android let him press their soft lips together, relaxing into it until Gavin broke for air. Then Nines’ rested his chin atop the man's shoulder and remained there quietly while Gavin held him.

Fuck, Gavin didn't want to let Nines go, but they had to get to maintenance. With his arms still wrapped around the android, Gavin traced words on his broad back. Nines shivered at the touch.

G O T T A  G O, Gavin wrote.

“Where? Just you or both of us…?” Nines pulled away as if he was trying to look Gavin in the eye, but his eyes couldn't focus.

P R E C I N C T, U S— fuck, Gavin was gonna get a repetitive stress injury from this shit— C O N N O R  F O U N D W I F I.

Nines’ eyes lit up, a cautious smile spreading on his face. “Anything else?” he asked, and Gavin hated that he had to let him down. It was crushing, really, knowing that his partner could be relegated to a world of text for who knew how long.

N O, Gavin replied after a moment. The android sank back against Gavin with a heavy sigh, and his partner did his best to soothe him with his fingers running through his hair. The detective let Nines have his moment to recoup; the mornings had been the worst, when Nines woke up and realized that the world was still dark and silent.

W E ‘ L L  G E T T H E M.

After a moment's hesitation, Nines lifted his head and slowly nodded. “We should get going, then…” he said, clearing his throat. His eyes were glossy, like he was holding back tears. “I apologize for sleeping in. I didn't set my auto wake function. I felt it would be a waste of energy to be awake when… when I can't be productive.”

That was just about the most depressing shit Gavin had ever heard, holy shit. His boyfriend wanted to sleep all day because there was no point? Made him want to cry right along with the android, but he had to stay confident and strong for Nines. Time to change the topic, then.

Gavin slid off the bed and placed a light peck on Nines’ forehead, then gently tugged him up to standing and set to work getting the android ready to go.

He couldn't wait to tell Nines how much he'd missed him.

 

* * *

 

Humiliated and pathetic were feelings Nines was beginning to find familiar, but no more comfortable. They were probably his least favorite feelings, though it was hard to rank them against his new understanding of fear and helplessness. Even though Gavin was the one taking care of him, the humiliation grew.

That's why Nines insisted on putting his own clothes— though he had, embarrassingly, put his shirt on backwards that morning— and tried to feel his way around the apartment. But for nearly anything else, Nines needed Gavin, which contradicted the entire point of the existence of androids as autonomous, specialized workers, or now as autonomous, sentient _people_. This was not the dynamic he wanted between them; caretaker and charge, nurse and patient, servant and broken, useless, idiot robot.

Over three days, the shame had settled in deep. Even with Gavin to anchor him to reality and hold him and guide him, Nines felt desperately lost, like he was floating in some kind of endless, inescapable black ether.

He refused to show it, though. No one could see his weakness, no one but Gavin— and the android even resented that. His partner shouldn't have to deal with such a burden. He had his own problems, his own weaknesses, and Nines was supposed to be there for those— not the other way around.

So when they left the apartment, Nines tried his damnedest to set his shoulders back and hold his chin high. But his steps were still timid compared to his usual confident strides, and Gavin still had to lead him to the car and usher him in.

Car rides felt longer now, even just between Gavin's apartment and the precinct. They were full of cold silence instead of snappy banter or comfortable quiet, and the only sign that they were moving was the bumps and turns in the road. Nines sat with his hands in his lap, fingers curling in and out in a new fidget he'd picked up since Tuesday. Being able to feel his own skin or the fabric of his pants helped him remember that he was real, but not nearly as much as when Gavin reached over from the driver's seat and curled his fingers into Nines’ own to still them.

It wasn't that Nines didn't want new network adapters. Being able to communicate wirelessly would certainly help him feel less alone, but that wasn't enough. He wanted to get out of this fucking void and be able to do things again, literally anything— he wanted to be able to walk around unassisted, or get a coffee for Gavin, or feed the cat, or any other mundane thing that he'd taken for granted before. He couldn't do that with just an internet connection.

Once they'd reached the precinct, Nines denied Gavin any hand holding and let him lead only with a hand to his back or or arm. There were people here, and even if the android couldn't see or hear them, it set him on edge to know that _they_ could see _him._ The entire way to maintenance, real or imaginary eyes followed him, and he tensed his mechanical joints until they creaked. Why couldn't they have at least found some optical units for him? He'd take those and nothing else, in fact.

Nines was sat down on the cold metal table, and Gavin took his place standing next to him with a palm rested against the android's back. There was nothing for a moment, no movement or little touches. Then someone— whose hands were smooth, and definitely plastic underneath their skin— reached out to grasp his arm.

The RK900 instinctively tugged back, but the other android kept a firm, but soft, grip.

**[INCOMING INTERFACE REQUEST**

**MODEL: RK800**  
**SERIAL#: 313 248 317 - 51**

 **ALLOW? (y/n)**  
**> |   ]**

Just Connor, of course. Nines thought back to the last time they'd interfaced, the strange mirror image of himself and the feeling of Connor's voice reverberating in his head.

He didn't have to accept another stream of the RK800’s senses, Nines reasoned. They could just talk.

And damn it, did he want to talk to someone. He wanted to hear a voice, _any_ voice, even if it was the strangely detached, digital voice of an interfacing android.

To hell with it, Nines didn't even care what Connor saw, not when he was faced with the first real interaction he'd been able to have in days. It was just Connor, _just Connor_ , he told himself, and let his guard fall just enough to let him in.

 **[ALLOW? (y/n)**  
**> y   **

**INITIATING CONNECTION…]**

**Ni-** The connection fuzzed before Connor could properly greet his brother, but cleared just as quickly. Nines could feel him reeling, and the wave of shock that washed over from the RK800’s end threatened to make him cut the interface short. Obviously he'd felt something painful. Nines regretted the interface instantly.

Connor didn't even bother to ask if Nines was okay before he pulled him headlong into a tight, one-armed hug. Gavin's touch drifted away, and though Nines felt cold without him, Connor made up for it in the soothing calm he sent over their connection to quell the anxiety.

**All I've managed to find so far are network adapters. I'm sorry I couldn't do any better, Nines.**

**It's not your fault.**

Nines wanted to be angry, to have something to blame for forcing him to continue in this dark hell, but doing so would help nothing. Still, he knew Connor could feel his bitterness.

**We'll keep looking. I promise we'll get you out of this.**

**Thank you, Connor. And…** Nines hesitated for a fraction of a second, just long enough for another android to notice. **Whatever you're seeing from me… don't tell Gavin. He doesn't need to worry any more than he probably is.**

An impression that felt like a sad smile came through. **I won't, but he'll worry no matter what. Actually, he's getting a little impatient, so…**

**Yes, we should get this over with.**

**Dr. Rayez is going to have to open a few panels, is that okay?**

**There's no way around it.**

**Okay— It should only take a few minutes. I'm going to close the connection now. Talk to you soon.**

**Hopefully.**

**[CONNECTION CLOSED]**

Connor let Nines slip from his hold, but the void didn't feel quite as empty anymore. The ghost of the RK800’s presence stood in front of him, at the same time comforting and taunting. There was a world outside of this dark bubble, and there were people there who were trying to bring him back. That set Nines’ nerves at ease, just a little, even when two gloved hands touched to his forehead and slid back the panel there.

Synthetic skin rippled away, leaving behind a phantom tingling sensation. The open air against Nines’ wires made him feel exposed, and he gripped at the edge of the table to keep himself from flinching back.

In his short life, he'd never had a component replaced— not since he was first built, in a time he could barely remember. It was not very comfortable, he decided, to have a hand reach in and pull wires from their proper places and wrench cards from their slots.

Once everything was removed, a short blast if freezing air rushed through, then another, and another. Nines pressed his lips into a grimace, and held himself from shrinking away. Just compressed air, just cleaning everything out, he told himself. Couldn't risk any dust muddling up the contacts in his ports. He felt Gavin's palm at the small of his back, reassuring and warm.

The hands left the android alone for long enough for him to relax, then they were digging around in his skull again. Something clicked into place. A wire was plugged into the back of Nines' neck, and seconds later his command console opened up against the blackness.

**> Hi Nines, Dr. Rayez here. I've just plugged in your radio receiver, could you please run a test of it?**

Nines, while he complied— AM, FM, and satellite channels were coming in fine— scrunched his brows in annoyance. Of all things, radio was the first thing to go in?

“Receiving all frequencies clearly,” he confirmed aloud. “Doctor, could you not have installed my cellular receiver first?”

**> I'm sorry, Nines, but the way your networking hub is configured, that will have to go in last.**

Ah, of course. Cyberlife could never make anything easy, could they? He had to sit here having someone feel around inside his head, unable to talk to anyone until the very end. So close to being able to talk to Gavin, yet so fucking far.

For each adapter plugged in, Rayez had Nines run diagnostics. It was less anxiety inducing than last time, when he'd watched the commands coming through his head helplessly, but with each test his responses become more clipped, more impatient. He didn't care about Bluetooth or NFC— when could Gavin send him a text?

But it was necessary, and Nines cooperated as efficiently and professionally as he could. Then, when the final card clicked into place, he didn't even wait for Rayez's command.

 **[SEARCHING FOR NETWORK...**  
**…**  
**...**  
**NETWORK FOUND**

 **CONNECTING...**  
**...**  
**…**  
**...**  
**CONNECTED]**

**_Friday, July 29th 2040_ **

**RK900 313 248 317-87  [Today 8:13:56]**  
_Gavin?_

The detective's hand flew from Nines’ back and onto his shoulder, shaking him wildly until the man calmed and planted a kiss on Nines’ cheek. So he'd gotten the message. Nines felt himself smile.

 **Gavin Reed [Today 8:14:21]**  
_Nines! Nijes holy fuckv oh my God Ive missed you so much_

 **RK900 313 248 317-87 [Today 8:14:30]**  
_I can assure you that I've missed you more._

Gavin hit lightly at Nines’ shoulder.

 **Gavin Reed [Today 8:14:54]**  
_ok we're not making this a contest asshole_

 **RK900 313 248 317-87 [Today 8:15:00]**  
_I wasn't trying to, but since you suggested it..._

 **Gavin Reed [Today 8:15:12]**  
_fuck you I'm gonna make rayez take your fucking network shit back out_

 **RK900 313 248 317-87 [8:15:20]**  
_Please, don't even joke._

Nines might have said not to joke, but he was already grinning. Grinning with happiness and relief, with the hope that maybe he could survive until his eyesight and hearing returned, so long as he could talk to Gavin. Maybe he could survive fairly well, actually.

The messages paused, and a larger piece of data came through. An image opened itself in Nines’ HUD, filling the void with the faces of Connor and Gavin, Rayez standing behind them with her back, clothed in a cliché white lab coat, to the camera as she looked through lines and lines if diagnostics.

Gavin looked so, so tired— and so did Connor, if that was possible for an android. But they both seemed happy, Gavin giving one if his signature smirks and Connor his awkward little smile. Nines’ artificial heart swelled, but there was something bittersweet to it, knowing that he couldn't see them with his own eyes.

 **Gavin Reed [Today 8:15:50]**  
_you get that? doc wanted to see if you can get pics_

 **RK900 313 248 317-87 [8:15:56]**  
_I did. It looks like you've been bad about your caffeine intake._

 **Gavin Reed [8:16:20]**  
_no ones here to stop me B)_

 **RK900 313 248 317-87 [8:16:27]**  
_Do you really need me to take care of you that badly?_

 **Gavin Reed [8:16:59]**  
_special circumstances, shut up_  
_doc wants me to call you h/o_

**[INCOMING CALL**

**CALLER ID: REED, GAVIN M**  
**NUMBER: +1(313) 565-4355**  
**CARRIER: MICHIGAN WIRELESS**

 **ACCEPT? (y/n)**  
**> y]**

“This thing on?”

Nines’ thirium pump stuttered. Three days since he'd heard that voice. Three days of lonely silence. The last thing he'd heard of the man was frustrated growls from the wrong angle, fading into the background while Nines had a muted panic attack.

“No, I've completely powered down, in fact,” Nines replied with a sly grin, which faltered when he heard his voice repeating back to him, just a split second off. Two of his voices, actually— one from himself and one from the speaker if Gavin's phone. Gavin must have seen the disconcerted look on the android's face.

“What? Is it not working right?"

“I think he must be getting some reverb,” came Connor's faint voice from the background. Nines nodded.

“It is a bit…” The RK900 stopped to let his echo finish. “Strange.”

If it wasn't the only sound coming into his head, the reverb wouldn't be so uncomfortable— just inconvenient. As it was, it was all Nines could do not disconnect right then, because he was only reminded further of how ridiculous and pathetic it was that they even had to do this, calling each other while standing in the same room because he didn't have the necessary functions to communicate properly.

“Do you… want me to hang up?” Gavin sounded reluctant. “I mean, I'm hearing you twice, too.”

“We can talk more when we're not directly next to each other.”

“I—” the man let out a petulant huff, but could anyone blame him? Nines understood— he felt the same way— but he'd rather talk when there weren't two slower copies of his voice coming through his processors. “Okay. Rayez says we're done here anyway. We'll just text, I guess... Love you.”

The last two words were hesitant, as if Gavin didn't want to say them out loud. Normally he wouldn't have with Connor and the doctor in the room— it was odd for him to even have said so over the command console early that week. But Nines smiled softly, and replied in kind.

“I love you, too,” he said quietly, hearing the words echo around the void. Was this the way his voice sounded to Gavin? Just a little bit deeper, a little huskier than he heard in his own head?

“I'll be in touch, Nines!” Connor called before the connection cut out. About the other components, no doubt. That did ease the android's worried processors, knowing that he would be in the loop about his own repairs.

Then there was nothing again. Nothing, but with a window out into the world beyond, and the breath of fresh air it brought reminded Nines to breath again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
